I Miss My Friends

Summer is my least favorite season. 

To a lot of people, that statement would shock or confuse them. Summer is the time where people my age can get the rest, relaxation, and vacation they’ve been yearning for. It’s the season for bright, sunny days that last well into the nighttime hours. And it’s really nice I must admit, but for me, summer has always been the loneliest time of the year.

For the past couple of years, every June I would say goodbye to many of my friends as they went back home. However, due to my unique relationship with my hometown and my parents, I always chose to stay in Seattle. But when very few of your friends are still around, life becomes a lot blander. I can just sit on my bed or couch and just feel the hours pass by me. It’s a horrible feeling really. And this is because this isn’t alone time that I have allocated for myself. I love having alone time when I want/need it but when it’s forced upon me for extended periods of time, it almost feels like a punishment. Even the acts of just vibing with someone or receiving a hug feels like rarities. And this is no ones’ fault per se. I know that people want to go home and see their friends and families and take a break from paying for meals and rent. I can’t blame them whatsoever. But even knowing that doesn’t necessarily help with the emptiness I feel. 

And usually, this is a temporary thing as, by mid or late September, many of my friends would come back for school. And those moments were always my favorite moments. The times when I could see people and we could just have fun without any major pressure from academics or careers just yet. It was just nice, simple fun. 

But my friends and I have all graduated now. There is no more looking forward to the big rush of people coming back because they aren’t. There’s no more reason to. And I can’t lie, this scares me a lot. It means that I’ll finally have to accept that my friends are no longer in close proximity to me. It means that to stay close, it’ll take a lot more effort from both sides just to maintain contact and a lot more resources to see each other in person again. 

And I understand that this is just life. This isn’t a unique to me situation nor is this a problem per se. This is just part of the reality of this new phase of life that I’ll have to get used to eventually. I just wish I didn’t. People will tell me that I have better years ahead and I believe them but, for the past four years I’ve made such incredible memories with so many people and I don’t wanna lose them as we move on with our lives. 

I miss my friends. I really do. I miss them lots and when I’m home alone on weekends, all I want is the comforting presence of one of them. Nothing big or extravagant, just a presence would be enough.